Business Course

 
Date:
April 11, 1984
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
 
 
 
 

Sou puruk: When you are keeping you as you, which is apart from the process of what you are doing then it gives you the more flexibility to drop evaluating, if you don't need to evaluating and use your executive if you need to use it or know how to use you know your administrator which you need to use that to get you where you ultimately have to give, which is why you are reasoning, logic and reason in the first place you know. Instead of getting caught in the process of those you got to understand that, your outside of those, but you got to use those, they have got be at your command just as you have a team of people who would help you in something. Able lawyer and an accountant this and that, in business you got to know when to use them for what to get your best profit. It's the same thing with the command of your own thoughts. Is that what you were asking? How do you, you said that you got all these different factors.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: That you are going to guess correctly?

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Yeah it is. No it is. Well,...

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: The quality that seems to probably answer the question that you are saying is how you are going to get a better guess is really the understanding which is the intuition and that's the comprehensiveness and the way that you give that comprehensiveness is to be you as you. So in other words when you are really involved with and it's like a life and death issue, which either you are successful or you are not is a the life and death issue. And the best way that you can deal with those kind of life and death issues, which you constantly you know, in front of you is with face and that face gives you the buffer to kind of trust enough to create a projection in your environment that will give you just that little edge like when... if I was to think, if I for myself on the motive trying to think of values and problems and I was looking at everything from that place, that will be my aim, that will be my preview.

So I will think I will probably experience that. And so what I, that why I have chosen to develop positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" is I want to see things from that profit, from that place so that I will look at things and I will look at the boundaries of what's not going to be profitable more than what's a failure and what is not going to give me. You know that's the focus. So when you have the understanding of you as you and then you as successful will be... your business is a projection of you. If you are successful, your business will project you and be successful. So what you got to have is that confidence in yourself that you are going to make the wisest and most intuitive, most comprehensive, most understood answer that deals with this time and space until you get to the next one and the next one and the next one.

What happens is if I look at (?) from a point of... I have to make this big decisions, overwhelming and I may make the wrong one which means you know. It puts you in a very threatened and threatening position, which puts you in a place of defending from sort of... the place, which doesn't give you quite a scope of this is it, this is going to be my best opportunity, I understand that this is and may not be with you know, ultimate best to my idea, but I am going to project in and get it there, so it's much more from that base, it's that kind of answer what you were saying or give you kind of kind of cools what you were trying to incorporate.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: You know it's a real faith and trust in God and that is... that's where like my logic you know takes me (?) I to say give me faith or doesn't give me doubt. You know I mean, you can look at it very simply like that and friends we do pick on the doubt then that gives you either the capacity to say what am I missing in this situation, you are missing some knowledge, you are missing some peace. And we become very intuitive when we become really merged with that Infinity which all of us are really trying to achieve that even though somebody may present to you something and you end up thinking oh it's logically at all, logically (?) it's together, it's fine. But somehow I have this one you know, underlying, understanding that I have this doubt. And that's really important that all of you when Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. all of you has to be understood, because with that little linking bit missing you can really experience a bad tumble. So you are into vision which is your faith must be really primary and in scope into achieving anything of your projection of you.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Well, that's, he is going to make even every odd situation and he is going to test them and see them, and calculate them and deliver them. That's the capacity, I mean the negative mindNegative Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It is the fastest and acts to defend you. It asks, "How can this harm me? How can this limit or stop me?" It is also the power to just say no, stop something, or reject a direction of action. has to be there, you have to have the negative and the positive in order to get your balance point in it. You know where you from where you can execute yourself, project yourself to deliver whatever. So it's not that negative, is negative for at least to the positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" ... it doesn't look as it is negative as no good. It doesn't judge it like that negative, is essential and very good, it's one of your best qualities. But, if it's, untamed, there can be one of your you know, best enemies. But even as the best enemy it can teach you a lot and that's how the cycle goes with the positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" , it never stops, never gets stuck there. You know always it creates something a little more, the little plus you know. But that's just you know that's just what I can you know, often just always find in that extra thing. You know it's always that's the cash, cash.

When Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. talks about last year that extra little something when your businesses are down, when everything is not going well, the economy, the circle that you are in the economy and your businesses are not doing well is that little cash, cash that extra stash of cash that you have that extra little quality within yourself that keeps you going in those rough times, you know maybe it's faith, maybe it's... you know, what a foresight that it's going to end or whatever those things might be is not going to live... in order to calculate for that you got to know the bottom and you got know the height in order to be majesty. You can't ignore like saying, "This is negative." I don't want to deal with it. It's bad, it's error and I don't want to look at it, and deal with negativity like that, it has much more to serve you than to ignore it. It's essential, or did I jump into simple question you want to ask?

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Okay that opens up a huge thing in my mind. Let's see. First thing came to my mind is that when you do have, you do have (?) like some people have an inflow of certain qualities much stronger than other qualities and therefore they can transact themselves in a particular capacity differently than others and the multiplicity of everybody's transaction from that comment gives you what the world has to offer in terms of different talents and abilities and skills and so forth. The way that I would say that I will operate in terms of an employee and employer is that when... well, this maybe I should give a particular example I can take, because I tell you it's so I can go, it's so big to work with for me.

We have one of the things that has to be really definitely kept in balance in that is that you all have that same comment and there has to be an understanding to balance it, there has to be an even give and take. The capacity to understand conflict between the services of an employer and an employee or between certainty and uncertainties between dependent, independent, interdependent relationships is that they all have a common, balance, and common denominator and that, when you have a capacity to give in a certain way and they have a capacity to give in a certain way what often times makes one the boss is that they have the capacity to give in many more ways than just one way. You know they have a capacity to not only get for themselves and to give to themselves, but they can also secure the other person.

Say you got a situation where there is a conflict between two people. In that situation, if you go in and say, "This is the way it is and I am laying the law and this is what I want," you are going to create a lot of conflict even more, I mean they may say, "Okay, fine because you are the boss and so what you say goes." But if not like there is any communication, if not like there is any trust, if not any understanding tthey will be productive, they are going to do it by the law, they are going to resort to the rules, the books, the written, the logic and they are going to do it like that. But you aren't going to get the most out of them, because they have more to offer.

So if you have the capacity that if there is a conflict and you say what... you know, first you have to establish you know, understanding then you have to say well you have to gather the information about what is creating the conflict and then you add that element in, if you have the capacity to add that harmony or that element in and you can settle disputes people are going to start looking to you like you know, well this you know Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. says, when you do that they look to you like God, because you brought out of turmoil, peace to their lives, which can make them become more productive, which is what they want to do anyway. So you got to trust that ultimately they want to be good and you can pull out of them that better good in them. Is that answer what you were asking now? Not really kind of halfway...

Student: (----)we can have a company that's run primarily by one element or the other(?) and if you look at the two in isolation, the positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" tends to generate opportunities without enough discretion to avoid failure, so the positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" goes to a cycle of generating a vast energy behind something in a (?) because it hasn't you know, primarily tested the negative mindNegative Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It is the fastest and acts to defend you. It asks, "How can this harm me? How can this limit or stop me?" It is also the power to just say no, stop something, or reject a direction of action. of (?), but negative mindNegative Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It is the fastest and acts to defend you. It asks, "How can this harm me? How can this limit or stop me?" It is also the power to just say no, stop something, or reject a direction of action. tends that to have (?) great about success, because when it applies it you know, gets test the opportunities you know, we have the balance it basically springs out almost every you know, meaningful opportunity before (?)so what has to happen is you have to establish some other system in your relation to find balance between us, so that the positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" generates the opportunity and the negative mindNegative Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It is the fastest and acts to defend you. It asks, "How can this harm me? How can this limit or stop me?" It is also the power to just say no, stop something, or reject a direction of action. you know, creates the test... make it practical.

Sou puruk: Can you give me like a specific like this is the situation where people are in conflict like this.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Okay a defensive reaction. Yeah.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Okay you want to give another example or... okay if you take that example that's what I said timing is essential and that's where that it's true that you can see that something is wrong, but the thing is that you have to understand when you are working with the person is that, if they are going to feel like say, they are going to either feel insecure, they are going to feel like I want to be perfect and I am not and when they told that aren't perfect they take the process that they are in as them, they are so incorporated them to the identity of what they do that when that gets corrected they explode. I mean because it's like them that's being criticized and they can't handle that, so when you are going to say, oh do you mind you know, correct in this little point.

I mean I had a situation it's not too long ago I was just showing someone a letter to type and they mistyped a few things and they misspelled a few things and you know, it was just sort of their first thing they had ever done and I said, "Well, you know we... you know this is how this is spelled and you know, this means this." And the reaction that I got was you know, I can't (?) that kind of thing I can't (?). Well the thing that you have to do at that time is instead of dealing with the dictionary, which says that you know it's spelled you know this particular word this way instead of that way you got to take care of the way they are reacting and put that at peace before you can get any productivity of getting this letter done.

So you got to switch priorities right away, where as your priority was just getting this letter done. Now it's all of a sudden this whole of the thing. The problem is that, if you don't want to deal with this whole of the thing and you want to say, hey you know you watch, you watch them out or you watch the project whatever then you have not got in yourself the ability to deliver the security that you need for yourself. So what it take is it gives... you give them security. You somehow whatever you say, but somehow get them calm down and then you start to give them the security so that they can understand that they are not being criticized and their productive ... you know, accomplishable blah-blah-blah make some jokes, do something, where they can be at ease and then tell him what the little minimized, little thing is and they can put it in better prospective, because what they are doing is their prospective is they are inadequate you know, this they are this, they are that. And they are taking it from that point of view. So their reactionyou get is explosion.

We have somebody think of your situation, we have this person constantly blowing up. If I knew that I was going to do that every time I had to make a corrections. I think oh my God, but this is who I am working with, this is you know what God would give me an ability to learn and understand how to get past this. So I would start out by giving them statements that would give them confidence or through a past experience of blowing up I would say, how could I better explain, would it be better if I just wrote it down and just put it back in your box, would be better if I did this, we know what would be the ways that I could do this, because I am not really you know, I make a distinction between the work and the productivity, and the person whom I am working with, the person whom I am working with, I trust, I love, I care for, I want to build, but we together have to get this letter done, therefore how can we do this?

So you cannot bring the frame work of the ownership into it and not a... See where that magnifies is that... we get that reaction and then you start getting logical, you know, you start getting well you do this and I will do this. You do this and I will do this. And then you fall through all the cracks, because that's not the way, you know, so you got to have that understanding, you got to have that harmony to have people extend a little beyond, you know, like in the kitchen. You have a whole bunch of dishes and everyone says I did mine. You know, but you still have those ones who fell through the crack. Or we were in the training course everyone was doing great, you know logistically the cars were there on time, that this was there, that that was there and Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. says, "I can't stand it here that, and I am going." What's wrong? Everything is on time... and that's because there is no reverence for each other, there is no respect, there is no seen the Divinity in the person and assisting them to achieve their achievement of themselves. And pass their limited point of view. This is going to help, when you got to change the whole view about....

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Yeah sometime it's true you have to be very flexible in your way that, if you can feel like you are going to show them bottom lines it's a kind of stuff like everything is bottom line, it's a success or it's a failure. But along with that as long as you are giving that you also have to give the understanding and you have to give the support. Like when I have gone into situation so that I have to work with where you have to create a team and everybody is so suspicious so mistrusting and they don't want it you know, I mean they don't want it which is even worse.

Usually least that they want you can work with it, so you have to first create that they want it then you have to sell them on, then you have to get them to... you know, understand the profit in it, then you have to get them start practicing it and that it's really important that you are flexible to first, the first thing you have to do on any situation is have the rapport with the person. Because with out that trust whatever, you are going to do is going to be viewed from how you are going to take advantage of him... you know, so the first thing is that they are going to have... you got to have that trust otherwise you could say, that happens sometimes with when Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. like a person is like they are looking at him and in a mistrusting position and he is out there helping them trying to help them along and is that if they are thinking that he is you know, desperate God knows what. They are thinking all these stuff is totally framed in another whole way (?) trying to be delivered, so anything you got to deliver you got to have in the right frame which is that, you got to be trusted so your communication has to come from your heart and has to be kind, so that then can see that you do at least want something better for them instead of just to do them in the correct them, criticize them, put them down, stop them out, you know, squeeze every little bit of OPI and OPM that you can and they start looking at you like that kind of an employer. I mean you are not going to have a successful business like that.

Because in the long run they are going to do the same thing to you, get equal gift you know, I will come around you know, and they will find their ways to do, and that could be ingenious and making you angry you know, they do whatever they can to create that un-productivity. So it's important that you don't start the cycle that's where it's very important that when you start with something like that you take care of that right from the beginning and still keep your rapport, find out everything you need to know, because one principle I have said (?) it's like out of every loss is the greater gain, but then also out of every time that you have one time to find out, the second time you better refine it to where you never have to experience again, because third time it's the habit. It's the habit for you and it's the habit for them in the behavior so, just watch them and if it's a habit, it much harder to break, it breakable. This is much harder to break. Okay.

Student: I have been working out with some people who do something called coaching for performance and it's lies into the idea of understanding and like you said that the first time you find the mistake, second time you correct it, then third time it's a habit. The idea behind this thing called coaching for performance is that you set out a list of expectations for your employees who work with and this is the list that you get accumulated over period and time, experience whatever, the case is. And then when that person when you employ that person (?)nuisance that you are putting in when that person comes you sit down with that person, you explain to them, you develop a trust with them by saying here is what I expect from you, this is the list and you have a copy of this and I have a copy and we both know what's expected. And then if something goes wrong at somewhere that point that you can go to that person and say, you are doing something wrong on this list, and here it's what it is and the person doesn't feel attacked, they don't feel like it's part of their vein, because they have in front of them, you told them this before and it's a very sort of understanding as a thing if you are interested then I can give you more details, but the idea of letting people understand and developing that trust by just being very clear with them magnetically.

Sou puruk: Yeah that has to be because the list has to be a list, it's like even in understanding that in your performance or productivity is you are going to have different understandings of what you know, what that delivery is. I mean their understanding of it, that's where miscommunication comes in and as well, all fall through that that's why you got to have that understanding and we compromise because there is gong to be those things, but as long as they look at these things and that the ultimate trust is that the person is good and he is trying, he going to deliver then that list going to stay as a list, this means a of creating that... you know that'sa technique. So you have another question, yeah you had one.

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: Well one thing that you have to do is like they can be starting points, but you got to also be very practical and that say you start out... like you can't do just on sheer intuition. Intuition comes into play actually I find when you worked and practiced a routine, so much that is just instinctive in you, you know this kind happens. So if you haven't got it because you are learning a whole new road of something then you got to say this is I am identifying the problem to be such. You go to identify your problem and then you got to figure out what elements you need, or what things you need to do to put into to it to make it successful. So that doesn't even though the answers you say, what is that I need they can tell you know give you a list, doesn't mean that it means you got to look at each of those little more folly and get the essence out of what they are trying to say to you, to give you that quality that need to go. It doesn't happen, just because those words come. You know, when you (?)does that makes sense?

Student: (----).

Sou puruk: It's not to begin with, it's like let me explain like this. When you are a football player you got to practice those runs time and time again before they all take just to glance for a partner and you know that's the one you are going to run. You know. If you are a fencer you got to practice the practice so much that it becomes your body that moves, so all it takes is just you, do it there where times where I'd make a move and I said, well I did that, my mind was much slower than my body could, you know. So you have to definitely go through the whole process, you got to understand business, you got to understand the scope of yourself, you go to understand all those and if you don't go slow you know, go slow and get it, because you don't want to be up there and then crash, this I won't advice it. It's the fame and then lose it, you know. Oh it's time, okay, well thank you every one, I hope you will be able to begin to incorporate these ideas and we'll see you after lunch.

Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ka Khalsa, Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ki Fateh.

Student: We will meet back here at one thirty.

Student: (?) in a very exposing way, but managed to very compassionately demonstrate the value and some technology for a very balance success, I am very pleased to have Bibi Inderjeet Kaur. Thank you.

Applause...

Bibi Inderjeet Kaur: SatSat Existence; what is; the subtle essence of Infinity itself. Sat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. Sat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. NamSat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. Naam , Nam The manifested identity of the essence. The word derives from Naa-ay-ma , which means "that which is not, now is born." A Naam gives identity, form, and expression to that which was only essence or subtle before. It is also referred to as the Word. , Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ka khalsa, Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ki Fateh.

It's good to be here and it's a chance to meet everybody again. But my topic every time and everywhere is the same thing in the family. So I think the basics are, always, the same and the concept is always the same. Because of family life and the concept of marriage is forever is a universal thing. So I keep on repeating saying same thing, maybe we all need to be here again and again and maybe we can something gets stuck in our head and that works. So my topic for today is that successful family, the main thing is when we stress, so much on success in other areas that our a, we should be success in our careers, in our businesses, and everything under our priority becomes our success in outside world then we slowly we forget where our family is, what my needs are for my family, for my wife, for my children and we forget that part which is very important, because when we put energy towards outside success that our family is together, we all want to make money and be rich, but when we get too involved in the business then you forget the wife and the family part and then slowly problem starts coming up and then complaining starts and everything and our priorities change.

And then when we get into the mess in the house area then we say, oh! God what's this business is for? And then you are not a balanced person when you go out then business gets messed up, so the route of the success is the family, you maybe successful outside, but if your family is not together, you cannot enjoy and you cannot be a balanced person because your mind is at home how to solve this problem, that problem and then business gets messed up. And that is the main problem with the successful people, you talk of any successful person who has just materialistic values and when you talk to him he may look really beautiful, successful person, but when you talk to him and then how happy he is, he will be most miserable, because he has problem at home and, if we solve problems at home and be successful as a man, as a householder and then we can enjoy the all other success in the outside world and then all our three minds, analytical mind and this business mind and all other minds only work when you have a balance there and if you are already messed up at home and your balance is not there and even those mind don't work, because their positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" is not working.

Because we have, so many things at one time and then the called basic thing is the success lies and depends on his family and when he is happy at home and he has a balance in his life and he can concentrate better inside and outside his jobs, because he has a harmonious relationship at home and a person who has a quality to keep his family together and secure and when you know, you can control your family and then you can control outside world.

If you cannot control four people or three people or one person at home how you are going to make other people happy outside because you don't have that quality to have a open communication to know where is the problem, what is the problem and how it came and where to reach and the same way the whole concept of dealing with the problem for success is the same thing whether in the business world or in the household life. And then wife does contribute a lot in man's success. And whatever, I am saying it applies to man or woman, if I say man's that doesn't mean just for the man, it can be applied because woman are also in the business reason in the outside world as professionals. So it's for both people.

And that woman who can keep their husband happy and positive controls him and then she knows that how to tackle him with her sophistication and with her positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" and then man becomes slave of her virtues. She wants to control him, but she doesn't want to put her virtues there. So when man is a slave of her virtues and that she controls him and rather being slave she rules him. And but not with power but with her qualities. And we all say their family there is a popular saying, play together and lives together. But we hardly practice. Because it's just a saying, but we never say, okay we are going to practice on that. And basically man or woman's personality depends on three principles, which is in GurbaniGurbani Word of the Guru, Refers particularly to the words from the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. it is said, Dastaar, Raftaar and Guftaar.

Dastaar is the appearance, we call our turban the Daftaar, so when you have a very lose turban and you know how your personality feels like, you want to just go in the bathroom and tie it neatly and nicely you feel really comfortable and you feel like a whole person. So how you appear before the public or at home that's the basic thing of appearance and Raftaar is a way of life how we walk, we see sit, our mannerism and the third is Guftaar which is communication how we talk, how we communicate and what are our ways of dealing, whether our talking becomes a fight or argument or we are very convincing in business or at home and basically our life success starts, each day we get up with that feeling that I am going to be... this day should be successful day for me, but everything starts the minute the man gets up from bed, how wife receives him or say good morning or SatSat Existence; what is; the subtle essence of Infinity itself. Sat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. Sat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. NamSat Naam , Sat Nam The essence or seed embodied in form; the identity of truth. When used as a greeting it means "I greet and salute that reality and truth which is your soul." It is called the Bij Mantra - the seed for all that comes. Naam , Nam The manifested identity of the essence. The word derives from Naa-ay-ma , which means "that which is not, now is born." A Naam gives identity, form, and expression to that which was only essence or subtle before. It is also referred to as the Word. to him or they end up fighting why you wake him for SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. , I don't want to get up and their day starts right there and they can feel that how they are going to be successful for the day.

And from the time he wakes up and the way his wife send him of to work and the way she receives him at home and then specially at meal times. These are very important points and the times when we have to see how we communicate to each other and how we receive, if we have the positive vibrations and positive attitudes and then we can be positive in the outside world. But it's not like success is waiting outside, we come out and, because we have a career or a degree and success is sitting there but it's everything is with our own behaviors and how we communicate with people but then if our mood is out of the home how we are going to even communicate outside. Everything will be mess.

And man always sees woman as mother, sister or beloved, because these are the concept every man wants from heart. And when a woman provides those qualities she is successful as a wife at home and she is successful at outside world, because she has those motherly instinct and she can use those, but when we don't console the man or man is not content, or satisfied at home, his needs are fulfilled and he will look outside or whether he will flirt or he will feel proud that his wife is sitting as a power behind him, but depends on the wife how she wants her husband to be successful. So whole thing lies on both each other. How they want to be successful, because success is for the family it's not for one person when we say he is successful or I am successful when we say that we are successful it, becomes our concept of ours, that's the time we blend each other. Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. always says, blending our personalities or our ego, that's what when we say, that our goal... our long term is ours and our short term maybe your or mine, but until we make ours it's not going to work out, because your attitudes or intentions are different, so your energy won't be put that way.

And basically it's a universal fact that man needs nurturing and caring from women and she needs security and love from man, but more than love she needs a demonstration of love even in word if he says, I love you or appreciate her because that's the human need, when you work hard or do something for a person you need appreciation, when man take it to granted, oh! She did it, it is her job and she does it ten times, eleven times and twelve times she says, okay I am not going to do it, he doesn't care. So it's very important to appreciate a person even with your staff, if you appreciate somebody that you have done good job then he will like to do better next time, because he is encouraged. But, if you (?) take granted then even staff even it's a appears tough doesn't work that much and then your production is not that much.

So it's a very important to you appreciate for the work somebody has done for you. And the needs of a man and woman are made by nature, because man is strong by built, even when they are teenagers you see the difference, when the man is growing his voice changes, his beard starts growing and this manhood starts going then his ego comes in that I am a man, I am growing out man, and then woman she becomes more sophisticated, she cares more about her figure, and her body and all her delicacy comes in. So their needs becomes different, before that there maybe the same, but because she has a more sophistication and delicacy and with her tactfulness she can use those tactics to inspire her man and man with her strong and roughness and with his personality he can control and protect his wife and family.

And with her delicacies that she is more flexible and strong and she is... her qualities are like you know the cane stick, which can bend very easily, so flexible and then doesn't breaks a woman is like that and then man is so rough and hard and he can break so easily, so woman can hold many problems at one time and she has a quality to handle those things at one time and then whereas man can handle only few things and collapse so that's why it's always saying that man needs a woman, every strong man has a woman behind. Because woman has those qualities, so she can inspire her man and the most important thing is she should know what and when to talk and which is the best time to talk and with her sharpest tool which is her delicacy and sophistication and she can be suggestive instead of complaining.

And woman also has a quality to bring spirituality in the family because she knows and she has in her that quality and she can clear those environments and, which brings balance in analytical mind, positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" and administrative mind, and all these three mind need balance and balance come from positive family background and environment and to be spiritual. And if you don't get up for SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. you are not going to have your positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" working for the day, because you haven't done anything for the GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. . And then our ego comes in that I did it and then you don't give credit to the God or GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. , that it's GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. 's grace I am successful today and when we put our spirituality or grace on GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. then GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. works for us and it's also for the woman how she wants to make her man spiritual or what whether, she wants to drift him away at the...

Side B

Anybody else because they have very pure intentions and pure feelings in it and GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. always listen to the family. Whenever, there is a problem you say, "Okay tell your family or wife she will do ArdasArdas Prayer; the formal group prayer of the Sikhs. , who else can do better ArdasArdas Prayer; the formal group prayer of the Sikhs. for you." Because see you your both ego's are blended, your psyche is blended, you both are one soul with two bodies. If they are. Depends on whether, they are or they are fighting couples. And then the success comes, because GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. listen to those prayers and when that gives us a positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" and success and then person can decide better and then he is not deciding with negativity and when that negativity feelings are there, that create stress, poor images, loss of self esteem, confidence and then that takes away your success right there.

So it's very important for a husband and wife to pray together and to see that they have a harmonious relationship at home, so they can be successful as a unit not as a one person. And in India there is a very popular saying, they say when husband and wife bend down to help each other instead of running to put each other down and they should pray for stronger backs than for lighter burdens. We don't care whether their stronger back is that we can support each other, we don't care for that, we say oh I should have a less burden, I don't care, I don't want to work hard. So we should not worry for the work but we should worry how we can support each other.

And then we should judge each day not by the harvest we reap, but by the seeds we sow. If we haven't done our SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. in the morning we are not going get better result in the day-time and for a successful businessman woman role is very important. He needs positive attitude, vibrant, and spiritual environment and man's spirituality depends on woman. And she is like a garbage pit where he can come and dump all his problem and she provides him intimacy and feelings of security, because she has a depth and she can console him whereas man doesn't have his depth. He is more selfish and more with his ego that I am the one, I am the man of this house, so I have to have all these things, but all the other attributes are in woman, because she can console him and handle many areas at one time. Because she is sixteen times more powerful than man and she can play several roles at a time.

She can be a mother, as a professional lady, she can be a good friend, she can be a good wife and all hundred roles you can do at one time, which just your thoughts, those ladies sitting here if you think of yourself you will know how many things you can handle at one time and without even getting upset, because normally we will be very relaxed and handling so many things, whereas man cannot handle that many things at a time, he says, okay take it, do it, I can't handle it. But she should also lean on him for security, but not become a burden, when she becomes burden then man gets irritated and that's where the fight starts and then they should have give and take policy.

And then husband should not take advantage of her goodness and then put overload on her. And basically there are some laws of success for the family and then you can enjoy the other success in different areas, which is harmonious relationship, spirituality, having faith in God and GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. and good family life, security at home, if man doesn't provide security at home and he is never going to be successful outside because he is always worried and then he cannot handle inside problems.

Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. always tells me that, I travel all over, I am always busy, but I am free from home, I have no problem, because I know you are taking care of the family. So I am free from that area, but if he is taking care of the family or staff his half of the time will be spent taking care of us. But when he is free from the family responsibilities because he knows that somebody is taking care of that, so he can devote more time and he can concentrate more on different areas instead of just taking care of the household problems.

And then trust in each other understanding cooperation and the most important is the budgeting and diplomacy and not doubting attitude towards each other. And if you have less income and your expenses are more and still there are problems and then hospitality and faithfulness towards each other. And then it's also very important is open communication, so couple can discuss the business is and discuss different things and then may have arguments, but not arguments, just to criticize each other or to find their weaknesses and then pick those weaknesses and say, okay here she is caught or he is caught and then take advantage of those areas. But it's important to discuss with open mind, so that there is no criticism and then when, where and how to speak and how and where to spend and maintaining the respect for the family, public and social image and priorities of time and position.

The mess comes in when we mix up our priorities of time and different areas we bring home in the office and office in the home and then we mix up and that's where the mess come in. And if we keep home separate and happy and then office separate then so you are dealing two things separately, but if wife is working or couple are working so then they are working at that time for just for the office or for the business not for household problems. So they should have priorities where they are, and what they are dealing with. So don't mix up children problem when you are discussing business or business situations, when you are talking about household problems.

And it's very important also to cover each other weaknesses. In business world when you, sometime couples work together and they get a chance with their staff or with their subordinates sit around and start discussing about their families and then putting their wife down or putting their husband down, and once you lose the image of man or a woman as a professional or a business person, so then the staff doesn't respect you and you will lose the progress in that area.

And always woman is given more responsibility, because she matures earlier than man. She becomes more responsible and caring for a man and can handle better. And then man even he is a hundred years old still have a child like attitudes, he always wants to be mothered or nurtured by woman. And whereas woman wants security and just a love from man and then she can always take care of other things. Because when she comes she surrenders herself, she changes her name, she gives in, she does everything for the man and when she doesn't get security from man and that's where her anger comes in and she has a capacity both ways if she is sixteen times better and powerful than man in positive way and then she can be sixteen times worst also to destroy him. So balance is very important how they are going to handle the woman and once woman becomes a disaster she can ruin the man and the family at that time she doesn't care for the children for anything.

So for a man it's very important to enjoy outside businesses and the success in other areas until he has a successful marriage. Otherwise she will mess him up and ruin him in every way. And she is the worst of revengeful person when she is in the sixteen times in the negative side. So it's very important to give priorities where they are needed and what time they are needed. So you should have a analytical mind working where to filter and when to filter the situations. And it's very important, everything is important because to me everything is, so important each area I talk about, it seems like it's so important you cannot ignore one and then handle the other one. They all are so to be spiritual and then have faith in GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. and not have ego that I am the perfect one, I did it. So then you forget that, sometime what happens is we get so involved in our business, we forget our SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. , we say oh! I slept late at night because I was working, so SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. is gone. Bodies are gone.

And you get up and go to work and then comes home, so you get into such a rot, so that your whole way of life is changed and after a little while you can enjoy that rot, but then this whole life style gets into mess and then GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. 's hand is very strong, once it reaches, you cannot escape from that. Then GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. says okay I gave you success and you forgot me. And here I am, so then we start doing our forty day SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. , forty days sevaSeva Selfless Service. the heart of the Aashram experience is serving each other. , forty days this thing and that thing, so it's a very ...the best thing is that not to wait for forty days, it's better to do it everyday. So that you can enjoy it the same time what you are doing and I will tell you the beautiful story when we start saying it's my effort, I am perfect one, then when our ego starts and that time we lose the grace of God and then GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. says, "Okay if I gave you all best thing and you have forgotten me."

And the same thing happened to this, there was one RishiRishi Enlightened being; Yogi. , he meditated for hundred years, he satSat Existence; what is; the subtle essence of Infinity itself. on a stone slab, for hundred years he meditated and God appeared before him and He said, "What you want you will be blessed with."

And he said, "I only want whatever I have achieved from my meditationMeditation Dhyan. It is a process of deep concentration or merger into an object or a state of consciousness. Meditation releases reactions and unconscious habits and build the spontaneous and intuitive link to awareness itself. , I want a reward of that."

And he asked him, "Think again, what actually you want"

He said, "Yes I have meditated for hundred years, I have satSat Existence; what is; the subtle essence of Infinity itself. on one place, I want a reward for that."

And he asked him third time, and he repeated the same answer. And he said, "So you don't want... you haven't hurt anybody, you haven't done anything wrong for hundred years, so you want a reward of just for that karmaKarma The law of cause and effect applied to mental, moral, and physical actions. Ego attaches us to and identifies us with objects, feelings, and thoughts. These attachments create a bias toward certain lines of action. Instead of acting you begin reacting. Karmas are the conditions required in order to balance or complete these tendencies. Though necessary, karma is not dictatorial or fatalistic. It is the mechanism that allows the finite experience of existence to maintain and stabilize itself. We all have free will and can take actions to re-direct the momentum of a karma. We can transform it or neutralize it using meditation, jappa, good deeds, or intuition that remove your sense of ego and the identification with that past line of action. you have meditated."

And he said, "Yes." And that time the stone where he was sitting, he used it as a seat and that stone became as a person and the stone said that, "First you have to settle my account how could you take your reward, you satSat Existence; what is; the subtle essence of Infinity itself. hundred years on me, now it's my turn, let me sit under you, you become a stone, let me sit hundred years on you and then we settle the account with God."

And he said, he was so surprised and he realized that was his ego he was saying because he did meditationMeditation Dhyan. It is a process of deep concentration or merger into an object or a state of consciousness. Meditation releases reactions and unconscious habits and build the spontaneous and intuitive link to awareness itself. , but whereas he should have said, "It was all your blessings, I want your blessings. What do you think better for me, maybe I cannot think." So then he bowed before the God and he said, "I was in such a ego, forgive me"

And then he said, "How could you say that you haven't done anything wrong, even in your thought and action you may not do physically something we maybe hurting people's feelings or in our thinking we maybe doing something wrong,"

So then we say that we have done it or I am the one who achieved the success that's where we get into ego and then GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. leaves you behind to handle your own situations and when we say, it is all your blessings, and we never forget our SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. or everything for success then we can enjoy that success. And then again it's on the wife how spiritual she is and how she can change her family and some woman say that I get up every morning for SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. , but my husband doesn't get up, I don't know how to deal with it.

But important thing is ,if she is doing this real SadhanaSadhana , Saadhana A spiritual discipline; the early morning practice of yoga, meditation, and other spiritual exercises. The Aquarian Sadhana can be an individual or group practice; Ideally, it includes the recitation of Japji Sahib, a Kundalini Yoga kriya, and chanting the Aquarian Sadhana meditations, immediately followed by Gurdwara. According to Yogi Bhajan, the potency of any Kundalini Yoga and meditation practice will be enhanced in a group setting. and then her influence must be there, but they mess up when they negate their husband and they start putting her ego, I am the one who is doing it, you are not doing it, so they lose their whole concept of saying it. Their intentions are good, but their way of saying is not right. So they ruin the... if husband wants to do it then he says, he becomes more irritated and he doesn't do it. But it's like a sandalwood trees, even there is one regular, just tree is there and just with the smell of that or with the touch of the sandalwood the whole jungle becomes the sandalwood tree jungles. Even the other tree doesn't even remain normal trees. So if wife is that spiritual there is no way she cannot influence her husband. But she has to keep up with positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" , not with negative feelings. And then they should have a quality to be relaxed and then decide. Instead of deciding when they are in angry mood. And something wife has to pretend that she is okay even though she is angry and sometime husband is having a business meeting and he comes in with his staff or he has his business people with him and at time she brings out all her anger. But that time if she shows that everything is okay I am fine and she handles the situation and that way she gets the reward from husband. And then puts her energy for his success.

And then the other thing that woman has to have a strong big heart and forgiving qualities. Because she has a capacity to live through with grace and she can cope with everything. But when she doesn't have a big heart and she is so jealous of everything and then success is never going to come in that family.

And the other area is sexuality area, that's also important for a man and woman to be satisfied in that area to have a successful married life. And when they are not satisfied they will make excuses to fight. And when, couple, deal with tolerance and patience and have their commitment and then they can handle any problem and achieve success. And then they don't discuss or criticize each other's weaknesses. And the other thing is to divide duties. So they should have divided duties that what she has to do or the different roles what he has to handle and that way they can handle in a better way and they can cope with every situation and then get each others help.

And where every both are involved in every area and that's where they cannot decide and even outside success even he has achieved then the mixture of everything becomes a mess.

And you know GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. Guru Amar Das Third Guru of the Sikhs. Amar DasGuru Amar Das Third Guru of the Sikhs. , his wife was Matha kivi and she knew that he was a GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. and she took over the food area, whoever, entered in that area she used to serve LungarLangar , Lungar Free kitchen associated with Sikh worship service. and she never complained and then that was the time when LungarLangar , Lungar Free kitchen associated with Sikh worship service. started in Sikh religion because they divided duties. She never knew or complained okay what is happening with you, I never get to sit with you, but she knew with the devotion that this is my husband's mission I have to do it. And now her name comes in GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. GranthGranth Literally: knot: book. Sahib. There are not that many ladies their name come in GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. GranthGranth Literally: knot: book. Sahib, but she is recognized as Matha Kivi even in the GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. GranthGranth Literally: knot: book. Sahib.

And the main thing is that woman needs attention and demonstration of love and whereas man needs that she should boost his ego and it's very important for him to get his ego boosted by wife, so he feels that he is a strong man and he is a complete man as a whole, so that he can handle the outside world. But on the other hand the man should be generous and he should have values and his generosity starts from home and if... and then outside world, but his priority should be his family.

I was doing research this month, last month in India for my dissertation and my dissertation is on a commitment and concept of marriage in India and in America the comparison. And it was interesting I have interviewed like fifty couples there and then fifty-one. Fifty I did there, their questionnaires and their main their answer was their first priority is their family and then the career. They want to be successful, but they don't want to ruin their family to get the material world or material things in their life, everybody wants to be rich, nobody wants to be poor in anywhere, anywhere in any country. But their main concept was that our first priority is that of home, we don't want to mess up our home just for money sake, we can still live poor and have a happy married life than having a rich marriage and not having happy married family.

So I think that is the difference between India and America, we get so involved in our profession and in career we forget where family is or what family needs it and where their needs or and how they should be met and so that was the difference and I think that's very important areas to deal with that how committed you are towards your family and how much success you want in outside world and, if you don't have a householder life successful, you are never going to enjoy your material world.

And when man starts of his generosity and kindness at home and then he can be kind to his staff, he can be generous to his staff and he can be concerned and caring and that's what even staff wants it that everybody... if you have a twenty people staffeverybody, wants to feel that person is needed or that person has some value or some input in the business, so it's very important for them to feel that they are needed whether, they are staff whether they are in the family or they are in the business world or children and once that need of appreciation is met and that need for needing it and then everything becomes very smooth and then balance is achieved.

And then it's also important for a man and it's a very important thing that man should not cheat his wife and he should be honest and he should not use his wife just okay, because he needs it today and then use her and the next day ignore her and then she will let him use once or twice and third time she will tell him, okay, here I am, and then their whole balance and creative power and all positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" goes away and that's very important for a husband to be honest and sincere and committed to his wife and children, he may be busy she doesn't mind, but she wants that he is honest and sincere for his family.

So once their needs are met and that's all woman wants and that's where you create the balance in the family. And just like in outside business world what we need is a qualities of positive thinking and motivations and objective planning, constructive ideas, development, achievement and short term goals and long term goals same way all those things are needed, but man should have a quality to have a analytical mind to know where and why is the problem and instead of saying who did it or where is the problem he should know why is the problem so once you deal with that why there is a problem and then he will know how to solve it. But what happens with couples is when problems come they start fighting for that and they forget why the problem came in and why it started it, once we deal with the problem and where is the point and that way we can handle the situations.

And the other thing is in business world you should never show your weaknesses to your staff or to your subordinates and then it's important also not to have intimate relationship with the staff. Once you have intimate relationship with the staff you lose your respect and then your production goes down the drift. Because once you are intimate then they know they can negotiate and they can wrangle and do all those things and also it's important to have a alternative staff or somebody available, if somebody goes out and say okay I don't want to work for you or doesn't work right, so the person knows that somebody is available it's not that person is indispensable. You may not change the staff, but they should know that they can't be changed if situation arises and that way your production in business world is always more and then they cannot take advantage of your weaknesses.

I think I have five more minutes, we started late, but if you have any questions in between you can feel free to ask me. And it's not sometime we start feeling that we don't have degrees, so I cannot be successful. It's not important that every academic degrees are not that important, but intellect is important. And then living with grace is important that GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. gives us, and so we don't forget the GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. for just a monitory success, and it's not definite that every academic person is wise and every wise person has to have a degree. And once we have responsibilities and divided rules in the families and that way we can handle our lot of problems easily and we can create balance and once decisions are taken with positive mindPositive Mind One of the three Functional Minds. It elaborates, magnifies, extends, and assists. It asks, "How can this help me? How can I use this? What is the positive side of this?" when you are relaxed and they are right at decisions and when we take the decisions with anger or in frustrations or in fight and when we decide something for the business or for the family and it's very important to get input of the wife that what she wants get her ideas and then instead of ordering him she can be suggestive and that's the time she can appeal to the husband that what actually he wants and what should be done.

And seventy percent effort for the successful marriage lies on the woman and thirty percent lies on the man, because needs to provide her or what she wants a security and love and the care and on the other hand that she provides everything else is self esteem, his confidence and his image in the social world in business world, in spiritual life and in every other areas and once the status is built by wife that my husband is a great man and outside world may tell him that you are not a right person you are not successful when he comes home feeling very weak and disturbed and feeling really low in his self esteem and that time, when she boost his ego, she says, oh you are a great man it's okay, these things come and go, but don't lose your heart and keep up and she puts him back on his feet, but when she goes with him on the dream she says, oh! God we have fallen, now we cannot get up and that's the worst thing woman do. When husband is feeling weak it's the best for the woman to say it's okay things happen, difficulties come and go, but as long we are together GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. can take care of us.

And when we put responsibility on the GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. and he takes care of that and once that... but sometime what happens is that we put crack in the relationship and then that crack it takes a long, long time to get back fast. And once when we patch the time when it done, then it's easy to handle that situation. So it's very important for a woman to take care of the family, take care of the husband and make her man spiritual and beautiful and, so that they can enjoy the success in outside world and in their home.

Does anybody have any other question? Any question not any other you haven't asked any question. You should feel free to ask questions. So but I say all the time and maybe we continue the same thing again and again that family life and the success through family is so important you may have success allover in the world, but you will never enjoy that success until you have a peaceful home and a spiritual environment in the family. And that is very important and then live in with GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. 's grace and whatever happens don't take that credit that I did it, just put it on the GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. that GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. gave us that credit and that's all I think that we should all pray that this couple should be successful with spirituality and then with the success outside world, because material thing doesn't lost for long, but if you have a spiritual mind and spiritual environment it will lost forever and GuruGuru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. will always bless everybody. Okay no questions? Yes.

Student: (----).

Bibi Inderjeet Kaur: Flirting, I meant flirting. You can have intimate relationship in business level, but not flirting with them. Once you start flirting with them and they know what you are, what really you are and that's where you mess up your business.

Student: (----).

Bibi Inderjeet Kaur: No, with the problems with the family you can get involved and help them, but you should help them just for helping sake, but don't take advantage of that help or know their weaknesses is from that time and take advantage, but if you are just helping them, with good intention it's okay. That's what we should do, we all do, and we should do, but with good intentions. Not to take advantage of somebody's weaknesses or that situation.

Student: (----).

Bibi Inderjeet Kaur: Now you can share, I don't mean that for the business don't show your weaknesses in business level, but I am saying your weakness is of your personal, personality. You can show, okay I cannot handle this work you do it. But don't say okay my weakness is for the woman, you are a woman you are my secretary I must take advantage of you or, if you are feeling that way horny, but don't show all that, you go out and take care of yourself, but don't take advantage, so I mean that don't start flirting with the staff, what happens in business world is they take advantage of the staff, because they are subordinates and they are under them and they show... and once they take advantage they think they using her, but then later on she starts using them. And then the both have their weaknesses, towards each other. That's what I meant. As long intentions are good it's okay to help each other. Any other question, yes.

Student: (----).

Bibi Inderjeet Kaur: But not on... in business hours, but on a friendship level if you want to share you can, but not as a boss and a subordinate. Keeping the roles separate on separate times. So that's where when and where to talk, it's not like you are having business meeting and start your family problems there and, if you are having family meeting then start with bringing your business in that. So keep different roles on different times. Okay,

Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ka Khalsa, Wahe Wahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. GuruWahe Guru , Whaa-hay Guroo A mantra of ecstasy and dwelling in God. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul. Also called the gur mantra. Guru That which takes us from ignorance to knowledge; from darkness, gu, to light, ru. It can be a person, a teaching, or in its most subtle form - the Word. JiJi Soul; used as an endearment or sign of respect. Ki Fateh.

Student: Thank you very much Bibiji, we'll take just a very short break I think about five minutes, now the Siri Singh SahibSiri Singh Sahib Honorary title given to Yogi Bhajan to indicate his role as spiritual leader of Sikh Dharma in the West. His complete title within Sikh Dharma is Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji. is here, so if we can just use the rest room or get a drink and be back quickly that will be nice, thank you.

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